Just like most people, I’m sure that you find certain aspects of your home comforting, while you find other aspects of the home just really don’t make you feel comfortable. It’s really strange and I never figured it out.
Now I’ve moved six hours away from my family, just two months ago, going back home has made me realize some of those things even more acutely.
I mean some of these things were always apparent to me, I spent all my early years, and my college life living in an apartment on my own away from home. So I’m used to it. But I often ended up going home every other weekend or so, this makes it normal to me.
But anyway, now when I come “home” it feels just plain weird. The first few times it felt nice to be home that I had a sense of missing being there, now the second and subsequent times coming home I’m eager to really get back to work and back to where I now feel I belong.
I think one of the things which is annoying me about being in the family home is that my dad is a cheap man and he would only play for the slowest Internet option. As I work on the computer, on my beloved iMac, it has made me super unproductive for a week. And because I’m in my parents home after leaving, I feel like I’m not in my own life anymore.
So it’s really weird that I am home, but I don’t feel at home. I’m in the place where I spent more of my life than anywhere else, but it just doesn’t feel like home any more. It feels like my parents house and it feels like I am living by their rules and not my own. I suppose that’s what growing up, moving away and earn your money does for you.
I’ve also had horrible insomnia lately, especially since being at my parents house for the week. So I have actually been writing this in the early hours the morning, and as you can probably read is a bit more of a rant than anything constructive. Thankfully I will be going home soon. And when I mean home, I mean my real home, and if you think that’s confusing, you haven’t seen anything yet.