Let’s take a trip back in time

I used to be really embarrassed about my blogging. But when I started this new blog, I decided to come out of it and share it with my family and friends.

In the past I actually hid my blogging. Which may sound ridiculous, as it is being published for anyone to read, but what I mean is I was hiding it from people who knew me, because I didn’t want to let so much of me out in public, so that people could join the dots and read too much about my life and draw conclusions about me I didn’t want them to.

But the truth is, that writing has always been outlet for me. Some of the first blog posts I wrote, on a blog long lost, would probably win first prize in the most god-awful blog writing ever. My grammar, spelling and general style is always babbling, but it was even worse then.

But this time is different, and I decided to share this with my family and friends. Just a simple email saying this is what I’ve done so far, this is me, if you’d like to read it then I’m happy for you to do so. I’ve nothing to hide anymore and I’m going to share my thoughts on the well, and if I can’t allow the people close to me to read them, and I’m not really sure what the point of it all is.

So there really is no point in my blogging, other than it’s a bit of a way of letting off steam. But, it’s also something that always been in me.

I think the catalyst for wanting to get back into blogging was getting a decent computer. Getting a fantastic 21 inch iMac really made me want to spend time on it writing and producing something wonderful. I’m not sure I’ve done that, and with the iMac screen repair still an issue, it’s a little bit tainted right now in my mind.

But generally, blogging is an outlet for me and I’m happy to share it with my family and friends now. I’m not sure if this is something I should be proud of, or something I should be running away from.

Day in the life of a screaming maniac

You simply would not believe in this day and age that something so mainstream and simple will be so difficult to get hold of.

You would think from that sentence that I’m talking about getting hold of weapons grade plutonium, or rocket fuel.

What I’m actually talking about is my smashed iMac screen. I’m looking to get the relevant iMac glass replacement screen I talked about earlier, and it’s proving a nightmare. Well, when I say nightmare, it’s mildly inconvenient, but for the purpose of this blog, let’s make it life trashingly awful.

You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to get this thing locally, and to get it delivered is going to cost a fortune. I’ve not really sure what to do about it and I’m actually wondering if I should just leave it. But when you spend so much money on an iMac, having a cracking the screen is ridiculous. It’s like having a Ferrari with a scratch on the bonnet.

And it’s the same with so many things in life, everything seems great at the start, but as soon as something goes wrong, lots of other things have to happen in the correct order for things get better.

On top of that, I’m stuck here doing lots of work and I’ve run out of basically everything in the apartment. This means I’m living on biscuits and water. I don’t even have any milk or bread. It’s a ridiculous situation and the shops are only a 10 minute walk away, but I have so much to do and I really don’t even fancy walking outside because I can’t be bothered to have a shower and get dressed.

On top of that, I meant to be going on a date night, and I really can’t be bothered. Yes it could be wonderful, yes it could change my life, yes it could make me. But the cynic in me is saying that it will be a meaningless single date when nothing will happen I would be bored to tears and I will go home alone again.

Yes that sounds awful, but unfortunately it’s the life that many of us lead today. Single living, basket to table, no savings, no particular hopes other than to get through the next month without running out of money. It really is tragic, but it appears to be the way that people at the top seem to want things. I’m guessing it’s because it makes is easy to deal with.

Does blogging help anyone really?

So I had another blog for a couple of years. I can’t even remember where it was and when I changed to my new iMac last year I didn’t even back half the stuff I had and I lost it forever. But it is out there somewhere and I’m sure somebody is reading it and laughing at how ridiculous some of the things I said are.

Blogging has always been away to reflect upon my personal life, how I keep fit, to set goals, to keep me lean and fit and keen, to hold me to account, to allow me to vent and express my opinion to the world.

But the truth is, that really and honestly we are screaming into a void. I mean, how many people actually going to read this piece? One, 20, 100? It doesn’t really matter. The truth is that the audience is so small that if you are setting out to do anything other than talk into the abyss then you are wasting your time and would be better off doing something that will make you money.

At one point I decided I wanted to be a full-time blogger. My grammar and spelling are not great, but I thought what the hell, a lot of bloggers can’t write for toffee. Thankfully, Texas was a brief chapter in my life and afterwards I moved to New Jersey, and I moved into doing a job that I love. But I still spend time working from home and I do enjoy the technology, especially my iMac, even with a broken screen. So blogging has come back into my life.

At the end of the day, I don’t believe that blogging really helps anybody, it’s just a way for us to feel like we are changing ourselves and the world, well it might be a way of getting things out there and for chest, but the truth is what good is it really do. I’m not sure really does any good at all, and I’m pretty sure that if we added up all the hours people are spent meaningfully blogging, we would have enough hours to change the world for the better.

But people are people and they prefer to do silly things like I’m doing right now, which is typing into the abyss.